Bucking Tradition: When a Woman Proposes


Traditionally, it’s the man that proposes when a couple wants to get married. The one exception is usually February 29th, when a woman is “allowed” to propose. These days, most couples have already discussed marriage before the big proposal. In this modern age, things don’t have to be as traditional as they once were. What happens if you don’t want your partner to propose, or if you’re dating another woman? You already know you’re going to get married at some point, so is a big proposal even necessary? If you’re a woman who’s thinking about proposing, don’t forget to consider the following things.

Should It Be a Complete Surprise?

Can or should a proposal ever be a complete surprise? Most people would argue that springing the idea of marriage on someone is poorly advised. If you don’t know what their answer will be, it’s best not to ask in an elaborate proposal. So the idea of marriage shouldn’t be a surprise. But what about if you want to propose as the woman in the relationship (or one of them)? Should you discuss who is going to propose first? It could be a good idea, simply to avoid both of you planning proposals. Even if you agree who will propose, there are still plenty of elements that can be surprises.

Who Gets the Ring?

When a man proposes to a woman, she traditionally gets a ring. Sometimes he chooses, or something they pick it out together. On occasion, he might get an engagement gift of some kind to. But what happens when a woman proposes? Should she buy her partner a ring? Should she get one for herself? Maybe both should get a ring? It’s ultimately up to you what you want to do. It could come down to who wears jewellery and who would value a diamond engagement ring. Maybe you would both rather save the money that could go on rings and use it for the wedding.

Other Engagement Gifts to Consider

If a ring doesn’t seem right, you could always think about another engagement gift. For example, what about a trip somewhere special? It could tie into the proposal and you could create some special memories. Or your gift could be anything that has meaning to your partner. It doesn’t have to be presented at the time of the proposal, either. You could choose something else that’s wearable, such as a watch. However, not everyone values such items.

A Proposal for Both of You

Often, a proposal seems very one-sided. When a man proposes to a woman, many people think the occasion is all about the woman. But if you’re a woman who decides to propose, you can ensure the proposal is about both of you. You can include elements that you both love, and you’ll automatically have a story that’s different from the norm. A lot of women want a unique proposal story, and what better way to have one than creating it yourself?

If you do want to be the one to propose, perhaps it’s best not to overthink it. You could just let it happen organically, when the time feels right.