Wedding Update: So it is stressful, after all


If you follow me on Twitter you may have noticed I have been a little moody of late. I’ve been sad, I’ve been considering packing everything in and moving to Paris and I’ve been drinking a lot of wine. Basically, things haven’t been great.

My last wedding update was very optimistic and until a few weeks ago I was still happily telling people, “Planning a wedding is actually pretty easy, I don’t get what all the fuss is about,” while tossing my hair back and laughing heartily.

Then it started to go wrong.

It’s hard to stick to your budget

We realised we had somehow worked the budget out wrong and the wedding is going to cost a fair amount more than we thought. Part of this is down to certain vendors taking months to get in contact and tell us how much stuff would cost. If we had known certain things would cost as much as they do, we may have done it a little differently, but there you go. My advice to anyone looking for a venue is to make sure you are aware of the total cost of everything before you say yes. We’re having a marquee (which was compulsory) and that has really brought the cost of the wedding up. Because of this we’ve had to make some cut-backs, so this means we’re no longer stopping in a hotel on our wedding night and I’m not going to bother making a pic and mix table. It’s a shame, but we had a chat and these extras are not important and we’d rather spend the money on our honeymoon.

My make-up trial disaster

This brings me to the disaster which was my wedding-day make-up trial.

Everyone has suggested brides should get their make-up done professionally as it’s their wedding day, and it’s special, and bla bla. So, I booked myself in for a trial and honestly it was a total waste of time. This was the first time I have let someone else do my make up and to be honest I think it might be the last. The girl was lovely and I’m sure she did her best but it was just terrible. The make up was so unflattering I took it off soon after I got home. I asked my fiance what he thought and the first thing he said was “What’s wrong with your eyebrows?”, which was fair enough, they were huge.

Because we’ve had to make cut-backs on the wedding, I am no longer getting my make-up done, as I would need another trial before I go ahead anyway. I was worried I will be too nervous on the morning of my wedding but it looks like I’m just going to have to suck it up! I’m hoping to invest in some good quality make up and practice beforehand, but to be honest, I don’t think it’s that  much of a big deal. I don’t like to wear a lot of make up and I manage to do my own everyday so I’m sure I can do it then too.

I’ve still had people telling me I should get someone else to do it, but I don’t really get why. No-one knows your face better than yourself and if you are able to do make-up, why not do it yourself? When you are trying to get married on a budget like we are, things like this need to be forgotten about. Though some brides wouldn’t dream of doing their own make-up, that kind of bride isn’t me, and that’s what I need to remember.

Getting make-up on the dress

Yeah, so, for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to try my dress on after I had my make-up trial. Obviously this was a disaster and I got foundation on it taking it off. Cue me running to my mum begging her to ‘sponge it’. I’ve not seen it since then as it’s still at my mum’s but fingers crossed its OK.

God, I can actually feel the anxiety building up in me while writing this. What is it about getting married that stresses you out so much?

Considering calling the whole thing off

After all this, worrying about money and not having enough for our dream honeymoon, things have been a little tense. A couple of arguments in and I was considering calling it all off and just spending the money on moving to a little house in the centre of Paris.

Then we realised we weren’t communicating at all and we needed to have a chat. So Rob and I looked at the budget, we researched what we wanted to do for our honeymoon and we worked out what we needed to cut back on to be able to get married and go on a honeymoon.

I think that when you are planning a wedding, no matter how hard you try, other people and other couples begin to influence how you think and what you should do. Some of my friends want the traditional, expensive wedding with the huge dress and everything down to personalised favours, but that’s just not me and Rob.

We’re pretty laid back and we are getting married because we love each other and we want to make it official. I’d happily forgo the vintage car and the expensive dress if it means that we get to spend the first month of our married lives travelling and experiencing the world. I also need to remember that just because someone else is doing something, we don’t have to do it too. Tradition is just tradition and there’s no shame in leaving aspects of the wedding out if you can’t afford it, or if you’re just not bothered.

We’re going to get our wedding rings next weekend and I can’t wait; it’s going to feel wonderful.

Now, where’s that wine?

Ironically, I wrote an article on keeping calm while planning your wedding, which you (and I!) should read.